AS A KID, I lived for the excitement of Little League baseball. I loved the anticipation of pitching for my team and the determination it took to win. I never could have imagined that as a teenager I would be wishing life was like a light switch that I could just turn off.

Today, I often think about one of my favorite passages in the Bible, from the book of Galatians: “This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would” (Gal. 5:16, 17 ). I am grateful to be walking in the Spirit and receiving the peace that a God-centered focus brings, and I am grateful to say that finding this walk in my life freed me from diagnosed bipolar disorder.

I didn’t grow up in Christian Science—or any other religion—as a teenager. Although I was invited to a few church groups, I didn’t think they were for me. I was often filled with fearful thoughts, and by the time I turned 16, I was smoking cigarettes, drinking, and getting high as much as I could. All this came to a head just before my 18th birthday, when I had a bad experience hallucinating on drugs. It brought me to my knees, and for the first time in my life I felt very strongly that there was a God. I prayed to Him to help me. I was deeply troubled and paranoid, and I remember thinking that if I killed myself, all this would end. But God had a better plan.

A few days later I entered rehab for alcohol and drugs, moved to a different part of the state, and began attending Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. There, I found people I could relate to who had found their way out of misery by having a relationship with God. For the first time in my life I started praying and had hope for the future. I never really gave myself to God, though, and I always felt that “the flesh was warring against the Spirit.” I stayed sober for three and a half years, but I never quit smoking cigarettes, and then before I knew it, I was drinking and doing drugs again.

A few years later, everything came to a head. One day I was kicked out of my apartment and found myself suffering from what I would later find out was a bipolar episode. It’s hard for me to explain the intensity of my thoughts during this time.

I was eventually put on a 72-hour hold at a psychiatric unit. (This was the first of several visits I would make to psychiatric units over the next several years.) There, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, as well as other conditions, by different doctors. I was told that I had a chemical imbalance in my brain and that psychiatric drugs were the only solution to my problems. Otherwise, they said, my condition would get progressively worse. I took the drugs off and on for the next two or three years, but I always really felt that God was the answer.

I knew I wanted to try to follow God, but I just could never grasp living a Christlike life; I thought that path would be so boring. My life was constantly on edge, and I was always thinking, trying to figure it all out.

During the next several years, I continued to swing from extremes of manic energy—staying awake for nearly a week at a time—to suicidal depression. I tried to end my life twice, and at one point around 2004, I overdosed on tranquilizers and was on life support for 28 hours. I was lucky to be alive.

I’m sure it was divine intervention that enabled me to quit doing street drugs and smoking cigarettes a few years later. It was in 2006, when I met a kid—he must have been about ten years old—at a job I was working. He was so enthusiastic about baseball, and his joy reminded me of my own innocence, of how I used to be when I was a kid. I made the decision to turn it all around, and within a couple of days I resolved to stop these destructive habits. In a way, though I didn’t realize it at the time, this was a first step for me in getting back in touch with my real identity as God’s reflection.

Around this same time, I had my first contact with Christian Science. I knew I wanted a closer relationship with God, and while I was looking around for different churches, I came across the number of a Christian Science practitioner in the phone book. I didn’t know what a practitioner was, but I called the number. The woman I spoke with was calm and talked about God in a way I had never heard before.

I don’t remember the words she used, but I do remember that she talked to me about a perfect God, and me as His perfect reflection. I sensed the confidence and wisdom in what she was saying. This was also when I first became aware of the book Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures by Mary Baker Eddy. The practitioner suggested that I get a copy, and although I didn’t do it then, this book would later play a big role in my life.

In 2008, I moved to Austin, Texas, where some family lived, and got a job working at a nice golf resort. The family invited me to their church, so I went, still wanting to get to know God better. But that church wasn’t right for me. That summer was a tough time. My dad passed on, and at about the same time, I was crushed when a relationship with a young woman whom I had fallen for didn’t work out. It felt like the flesh and the spirit were at war again. In spite of my sadness, I was grateful for small indications of God’s care—it was like God was telling me everything was OK.

During this time, I remembered the support I’d gotten from the Christian Science practitioner before, and I started calling practitioners again for help. I would tell them what I was going through, and they always responded with love. I remember a practitioner telling me that I was not a sinner and that I was a child of God—made in His perfect image. I’d never seen it that way before!

I went to a local Christian Science church, where a woman gave me my first copy of Science and Health, and I started reading it. Soon, I went to a Wednesday testimony meeting. I remember how peaceful I felt when I was there. The readings that I heard out of the Bible and Science and Health were comforting, and the testimonies people shared about how Christian Science was working in their lives were inspiring, so I kept going. During this time, over a period of months, my relationship with God grew stronger and stronger. My consumption of alcohol began to taper off and later disappeared, along with any residual use of street or psychiatric drugs. I was grateful during this time to feel a growing sense of peace that had nothing to do with drugs of any kind.

Many times I wanted to give up and felt I couldn’t take it anymore; in those times I called on practitioners for help. More and more, the truth began to sink in: that I reflected God, divine Mind. My mind wasn’t really in a brain that could be subject to a chemical imbalance. I focused on claiming peace, purity, and balance in my daily life, rather than looking for physical pleasure. This wasn’t a sudden process, but bit by bit I worked and prayed to get dark and fearful suggestions out of my thinking and out of my life. Daily prayer, reading the weekly Christian Science Bible Lessons, and (later on) listening to the “Your Daily Lift” podcasts (on christianscience.com) helped keep me in the Spirit.

One of the most important things I learned from Mary Baker Eddy was to “stand porter at the door of the thought” (Science and Health, p. 392). When mortal mind tried to bring me down, I knew I had the tools—patience and an understanding of God’s truth—to stomp out error and keep myself “in the Spirit.” I was so grateful to see clearly that I didn’t have to rely on drugs or medication to find peace—my peace came from God.

As I focused on these things, my life started becoming more natural and balanced, and as this took place, the healing of depression was occurring as well. By the end of that year, I can say I was healed when I saw that dark suggestions were just mortal mind trying to talk to me. I’ve been free of all the symptoms of bipolar disorder for several years now, and I haven’t needed any medication. I can see this spiritual sense of balance manifested in all areas of my life. For example, I always used to be messy and disorganized, but as I’ve focused on following God’s direction, I’ve seen a natural sense of order and precision in my experience.

I’m grateful for the many practitioners I’ve called on for help and for my Christian Science teacher, from whom I learned so much in class instruction. Thanks to Christian Science and the power of God, I can say that I am learning to experience “the fruit of the Spirit,” which is “love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance” (Gal. 5:22, 23 ).

My life is abundantly better now. I have started a small business making custom chess boards, and I am a volunteer mentor for at-risk youth who are on probation. This has been a great joy and a great learning experience. I also just started taking classes at a junior college near where I live. I hope to find a career where I can help as many people as possible.

Mary Baker Eddy wrote, “Spirit, God, gathers unformed thoughts into their proper channels, and unfolds these thoughts, even as he opens the petals of a holy purpose in order that the purpose may appear” (Science and Health, p. 506). I live with the trust that God is leading me and unfolding my thoughts, too.